☕️ Alice’s Mad Tea Party Presents:
🫖 Alice Spills the Tea: Tesla vs. Edison: The Original Tech War
"Edison literally electrocuted elephants to make Tesla look bad."
Alice swirls her tea, smirking over the rim of her cup.
“Oh, my darlings, I do love a good rivalry. You know, the kind where one genius tries to revolutionize the world, and the other one just throws an absolute tantrum because his spotlight is dimming.
This is the story of Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison—two men with very different ideas about electricity. One wanted to light up the world, the other wanted to electrocute large mammals to prove a point.
I think you know which one we’re dragging today.”
Alice leans in, eyes glittering with mischief.
“So, let’s spill the tea on the pettiest, most ridiculous tech war in history.”
Meet the Players
On one side, we have Nikola Tesla—a brilliant, eccentric, and slightly unhinged mad scientist type. He dreamed of wireless energy, had crazy futuristic ideas, and was the kind of man who could hold entire conversations with lightning.
On the other side, we have Thomas Edison—a businessman, an inventor, and, oh yes, a patent troll before that was even a thing.
Edison had Direct Current (DC), Tesla had Alternating Current (AC), and the world had zero patience for their drama.
So, What Was the Big Deal?
Well, my dear guests, the War of the Currents was about which type of electricity would power the future.
- Edison’s DC: Needed power stations every few blocks, was weaker over long distances, and was basically the horse-drawn carriage of electricity.
- Tesla’s AC: Traveled long distances, required fewer power stations, and was way more efficient.
Naturally, Tesla’s system was better, and Edison lost his mind over it.
Alice sighs, resting her chin on her hand.
“Now, a rational man would say, ‘Oh, wow, a superior technology! Let’s collaborate!’
But Edison? No. Edison went full mad villain mode.”
Edison’s Unhinged PR Stunt
Since slandering a genius in the newspapers wasn’t dramatic enough, Edison decided to scare the public away from Tesla’s AC power by making it seem dangerous.
His solution?
He started electrocuting animals.
Alice gags dramatically.
“Yes, my darlings, Edison went full psychopath, setting up public demonstrations where he used Tesla’s AC current to electrocute dogs, horses, and even an elephant.
Just to prove a point.
Because when you can’t win with science, you commit atrocities instead.”
Topsy the Elephant: The Most Horrifying PR Move Ever
Alice sets down her teacup, shaking her head.
“Now, let’s talk about Topsy the Elephant.
Topsy was a circus elephant who had tragically been mistreated for years. And because humans are consistently terrible, when they decided she was ‘too dangerous,’ they wanted to execute her.
Enter Edison, who gleefully volunteers to electrocute her—using Tesla’s AC current.”
Alice’s eyes darken.
“Yes. They filmed it. And played it for the public.
This man electrocuted an elephant on camera just to prove his competitor’s technology was ‘too dangerous.’
And you know he thought this was his big win.”
Alice rolls her eyes so hard they nearly roll out of her head.
“My darlings, it did not work. If anything, people saw Edison for the deranged lunatic that he was.”
Tesla’s Savage Comeback
So, while Edison was out here murdering elephants for clout, Tesla was literally building the future.
- He designed hydroelectric plants that still power cities today.
- He built wireless energy transmitters (which Edison stole credit for).
- He lit up the freakin’ World’s Fair while Edison was busy being petty.
And best of all?
Tesla won.
His AC power became the world standard, and Edison’s DC became a historical footnote.
Alice grins, pouring another cup of tea.
“Edison may have stolen ideas, electrocuted animals, and been an absolute menace, but at the end of the day, Tesla’s vision lit up the world.
And that, my darlings, is why science should be left to actual geniuses, not bitter businessmen with murderous PR tactics.
So, shall we sip to that?”
Alice raises her teacup in triumph.
“To Nikola Tesla, my darlings—the man who played with lightning and won.”
