You want tea? Alice is about to drop a whole scalding pot—and this time, we’re spilling it all over capitalism’s overpriced designer rug. Get your fans, your fake lashes, and maybe a knockoff handbag or two, because this one’s about to burn.
☕️ Alice Spills the Tea: The China Chronicles
(A.K.A. What Big Brands Don’t Want You to Know)
Live from the Crimson Courtyard with absolutely zero chill and a whole lot of truth bombs
Darlings. DARLINGS.
I’ve just clawed my way out of the TikTok rabbit hole—and trust me, it was deeper than the Queen of Hearts’ wine cellar. I was innocently sipping my chamomile tea when suddenly—BAM! China said “Y’all want the truth?” and then started throwing secrets and truth bombs like confetti at a royal ball. And I? I. Was. Shooketh.
(Okay... so I'm exaggerating. I already knew a lot of this for years through research! But there are so many mortals who didn’t, and yes, they are shooketh and madeth!)
Here’s the tea—and I do mean hot:
Luxury brands? Baby, they’re playing you like a cursed harp in the haunted halls of 4EverMore.
That $300 lipstick you bought? It probably came from the exact same factory as the $3 dupe on AliExpress or Alibaba—or even DHGate. And that bougie purse? GAGGED. It was made right next to the ones that get the fancy designer labels slapped on. If you think that stitching cost an extra $900, sweetie, I have a talking cat I’d like to sell you... and maybe a slightly haunted bridge in New York.
The Real Gag? Private Label Madness.
Oh my gods, YES. TikTokers in China are out here spilling every last drop of the mad tea. They’re showing the receipts, the factories, the literal product codes, and yes—the products.
Cosmetics? Brushes? Clothes? Jewelry? It’s not even “inspired by.” It’s the exact same damn thing, just with a glitzy logo and a marketing team that probably bathes in unicorn lattes.
And what’s this sorcery called?
Private labeling, darling.
That’s right. Anyone can start a “brand” if they’ve got a logo and a supplier. Slap your aesthetic on it, jack up the price by a bazillion—or if you wanna call it luxury, jack that baby up by a gazillion—and boom: capitalist witchcraft at its finest.
And don’t even get me started on dropshippers. They don’t even see the product, let alone touch it. Just vibes, spreadsheets, and maybe a cursed Canva template.
Now let me really flip your wig and hair extenstions because Yes Darling they have them too!:
Wanna cut out the middleman and go straight to the enchanted source? They’re TikToking about:
- AliExpress – For the babes who wanna shop cute for cheap (not saying you should... but you could).
- Alibaba – For the boss witches building empires with a cauldron full of branding dreams.
(And there are way more sites—just summon your smoogle and hold onto your teacup!)
But! Don’t go all willy-nilly clicking random sites. DYOR, boo. But those two? 100% real and have been used for years.
The mortal realm is waking up, babes—and they are NOT ready.
Once you see the truth behind the glam, the branding, and the sparkly lies, you’ll never fall for the same potion twice.
(Okay, okay, some still will. You know the cup cult girls sneaking those massive travel mugs into their videos? Yeah, we see you. Nice try.)
Girl, stop playing with those oversized, plain-ass mugs. If you're gonna flex, make it something so fabulous we all wanna sell our souls for one.
And don’t even get me started on the lashes—those fairy-winged monsters flapping on eyelids like they’re seconds from flying into the sunset. YES, those too are made in China, just like all those luxury boxes you're stacking up in your influencer closet.
So here’s my official decree from Rosehaven Castle:
Buy smart. Shop like a sly fox. And never again pay $87 for a palette made in the same building as the $6 one.
Your purse will thank you. Your ancestors will clap. And the ghosts of capitalism’s past? Wheezing in the shadows.
With that, I sip from my very affordable porcelain teacup and wink at the nearest dragon.
You’re welcome.
Signed with sass and side-eye,
Alice, Mad Mad Queen of Crimson Secrets
Want more scandal, sass, and ancient trickster chaos?
Visit Alice’s full blog at: Alice Spills The Tea
And don’t forget to catch the immortal shenanigans with Loki and Rumplestiltskin at: The Immortal Gazette
All brewed, conjured, and spilled under the grand enchanted eye of:
Sonia Bloodthorn, Queen of 4EverMore
