☕️ Alice’s Mad Tea Party Presents:
🫖 Alice Spills the Tea: Michelangelo vs. Leonardo da Vinci: Two Renaissance Bros Who Hated Each Other
"Leonardo called Michelangelo ‘a rude caveman.’ Michelangelo called him ‘a washed-up gossip.’"
Alice twirls a silver spoon in her tea, a wicked grin spreading across her face.
“Oh, my darlings, you think modern celebrity feuds are juicy? You think Twitter beef is dramatic? Please. Today, we are sipping on one of the pettiest, most bitter rivalries in art history—a tale of two Renaissance superstars who could not stand the sight of each other.
Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci.
Two genius artists, both wildly talented, both absolute nightmares to deal with, and, most importantly, both 1000% convinced they were the superior one.”
Alice leans forward, eyes gleaming with mischief.
“Da Vinci? The refined, well-dressed intellectual who thought he was too good for everyone?
Michelangelo? The scruffy, angry sculptor who worked covered in marble dust and probably smelled like a haunted quarry?
Oh, these two hated each other.”
She takes a dramatic sip.
“So, let’s spill the tea on the most legendary artist feud in history.”
The Ultimate Frenemies
Now, you might think two insanely gifted artists living in the same city at the same time would admire each other. Maybe even collaborate?
Absolutely not.
- Leonardo was 23 years older and saw himself as a sophisticated, worldly genius. He was into science, anatomy, inventions, and painting delicate, mysterious smiles.
- Michelangelo was young, fiery, and aggressive. He didn’t give a damn about inventions or ‘elevated thinking.’ He wanted drama, muscles, and massive stone sculptures that made people weep.
And instead of respecting each other’s talents, they did what all great men do when confronted with another genius:
They trashed each other constantly.
Leonardo Thought Michelangelo Was an Uncultured Brute
Alice smirks, swirling her tea.
“Da Vinci was the type to float into a room wearing fine robes, talking about the divine perfection of nature. Michelangelo was the type to storm in looking like he wrestled a statue, aggressively chiseling things while growling about how much everyone sucked.
Naturally, Leonardo thought Michelangelo was uncivilized, rude, and frankly embarrassing. He once called him a ‘terrible, uncouth man’ and ‘a rude caveman with no social grace.’”
Alice gasps in mock horror.
“Oh, but Michelangelo? He gave it right back.
Because Michelangelo thought Leonardo was an arrogant, pretentious, washed-up gossip.”
Michelangelo Dragged Leonardo in Public
Now, one of Michelangelo’s biggest insults came in the form of a truly humiliating public moment.
Picture it: Florence, 1504.
A group of men are standing around, debating art, when someone brings up a technical issue about sculpture—y’know, something Michelangelo literally mastered.
Leonardo, being Leonardo, decides to chime in with an answer—probably smugly, probably with the air of someone who thinks he knows everything.
Michelangelo immediately interrupts and publicly humiliates him:
“Maybe you should stick to painting and finish that giant horse statue you abandoned.”
Alice cackles.
“Oh yes, my darlings, Michelangelo called him out for that massive equestrian statue Leonardo had been commissioned to make years earlier—and never finished.
Leonardo? Humiliated. He stormed off in a huff, never forgiving Michelangelo for the insult.
And honestly? He never got over it.”
The Ultimate Showdown: The Battle of the Murals
Now, Florence—in its infinite wisdom—decided to make these two paint in the same room.
Alice gasps, clutching her teacup.
“Yes. The city of Florence commissioned Michelangelo and Leonardo to paint two giant frescoes in the same government building at the same time.
Can you imagine?
Two hyper-competitive geniuses, forced to work next to each other, glaring across the room, probably muttering insults under their breath?
It was supposed to be a legendary art battle.
The Renaissance Smackdown.
Michelangelo started sketching a brutally muscular war scene full of intensity, power, and chaos.
Leonardo started painting a sophisticated battle composition full of grace, movement, and elegance.
It was a battle of raw passion vs. technical mastery.
A battle that, tragically, neither of them finished.
Alice sighs dramatically.
“Leonardo, ever the perfectionist, overcomplicated his technique and gave up. Michelangelo, because he was Michelangelo, was like ‘I’m bored of this’ and left to sculpt something massive instead.
The murals were never completed.
And so, my darlings, the Renaissance’s biggest art war ended in… a draw.”
The Tea Spills Beyond the Grave
Alice leans back, tapping her chin.
“Now, you’d think that after they died, their feud would end, right?
Wrong.
Michelangelo outlived Leonardo by 45 years and kept the grudge alive.
- He made snide comments about Leonardo’s work long after he was gone.
- He refused to ever acknowledge Leonardo as a true sculptor.
- And most hilariously? He basically ensured that his legacy would completely overshadow da Vinci’s in Italy.”
Alice raises an eyebrow.
“Because let’s be real—when you think ‘Renaissance Masterpieces,’ what comes to mind first?
The Sistine Chapel? Michelangelo.
The David? Michelangelo.
The Pietà ? Michelangelo.
Leonardo was a genius, but Michelangelo? He made sure his work was bigger, louder, and literally carved into history.”
Alice raises her cup in a toast.
“So, my darlings, the next time you hear people say ‘great artists respect each other,’ remember this:
Michelangelo and Leonardo were Renaissance-level petty.
And that, my dear guests, is why artistic rivalries will always be iconic.
Now, let’s sip to that.”
