Oh sugar, The royal alarm bell just rang, and Alice is stomping down the crimson rose corridors in her fuzzy slippers, satin robe, and curlers shaped like tiny screaming rabbits. Because THIS. IS. MADNESS. And not the cute “let’s paint eggs and eat chocolate” kind of madness either—this is full-blown glitter-coated, debt-inducing, influencer and wannabe influencer-fueled insanity. So let’s sip and SPILL.
☕️ Alice’s Mad Tea Party Presents: Easter Consumerism On Steriods. The Easter Bunny Has Lost His Mind And Gone Full on Crony Capitalism With A Side Dish Of Debt!
An Troubling Sasscast From the Mad Mad Queen Herself
Darlings, gather round the cracked crystal looking glass and let me whisper the latest diagnosis straight from the Tea Room of Sanity:
Easter has officially jumped the sacred shark, impaled itself on a pastel glitter carrot, and gone full unhinged.
I’m talking about the “TikTok Easter Moms”, my love. Yes, the ones whose Easter baskets aren’t baskets anymore—they’re gift-wrapped department store aisles disguised as “core memories.” Honey, when your living room looks like Santa Claus hooked up with a Lisa Frank fever dream and then took steroids—you’re not making memories, you’re staging a high-budget set design for your next emotional breakdown.
Let’s break it down like a chocolate bunny under stress:
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No Jesus, No Joy:
Did we… forget what Easter is actually about? You know, that whole resurrection-of-Christ thing? The spiritual renewal? The sacred symbolism? Anyone? Or did the glitter blind us all while the Holy Ghost slowly backed out of the room, clutching His pearls and whispering, “Y’all good?” -
Crushing Other Moms’ Spirits, One Bunny at a Time:
You claim you’re doing it for your kids’ joy and “just creating memories,” but sweetheart, why is it on TikTok then? Why’s there a lighting setup? A drone shot? A full-blown sponsorship tag next to “#blessed”? Oh right—because it’s not about the kids. It’s about the views. It’s about feeling like the Queen of Motherhood while thousands of moms who can’t afford a $2,000 Easter morning quietly cry into their Dollar Tree dye kits and feel like garbage. -
Debt-Fueled Delusion:
Be honest—you charged half of that on a card you can’t afford to pay off before summer hits. And you know who suffers? Not the comment section. Your actual kids, growing up thinking love equals stuff. And one day, when they don’t get that PS5 in their Easter basket at 14, they’ll think their parents failed them. Not because they did—but because the algorithm said so. -
TikTok, Insta, and the Emotional Damage Olympics:
Remember when Facebook got dragged for causing emotional distress? TikTok took that and said, “Let’s add glitter, filters, and a crushing economic burden!” Welcome to the age of Aesthetic Trauma. Where your kids don’t get to be kids—they’re unpaid extras in your influencer dreams. -
Crony Capitalism in a Bunny Suit:
Let’s call it what it is: a massive marketing ploy wrapped in fake grass and plastic eggs. These corporations are licking their lips while you drain your savings on seasonal decor you’ll toss by June. It’s not tradition. It’s manipulation with a pastel bow.
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Now sugar, don’t get me wrong - Alice loves a little decadence. Give me a gothic egg hunt in a haunted garden any day. But if your self-worth and your child’s happiness are measured in TikTok likes and toy counts on Easter or any so called holiday turned cc debt day, then maybe, just maybe, we’ve all tumbled too far down the wrong rabbit hole!
So let me say it louder for the moms in the back who needed to hear it:
Your love is not measured in money.
Your memories are valid, even without a 12-foot animatronic bunny from Amazon.
You are ENOUGH. This crap really is 🤪 so don’t be a tool falling for the overconsumption credit card debt trap.
And as for the TikTok show bunnies trying to shame people for not “doing enough”?
Drink some humble tea. Sip it slow. And hop along because we are giving exactly 0 f××ks.
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With wild eyes, wilder opinions, and just enough grace to keep the roses blooming,
Alice, Queen of Ink & Lore (and sanity in chaos)
Find me preaching the pastel truth at:
https://alicespillsthetea.bloodthornpublishing.com
Or conjuring mythic sense into nonsense with Loki and Rumple over at:
https://theimmortalgazette.bloodthornpublishing.com
Brought to you by the high priestess of poetic truth,
Sonia Bloodthorn
https://www.worldof4evermore.com/2024/12/sonia-bloodthorn-queen-of-4evermore.html
and her den of delightful dissent:
https://www.bloodthornpublishing.com
